ebay-itis

ebayitis…my husband and I suffer from this time-sapping, wallet-draining infirmity.  It is highly contagious.  I’m proof of that.  My husband got it first, and now it would seem I am suffering as he does.   The “creeper” disease just sneaks up on its victims.  Before you know it , you have a full blown case of the dreaded illness.  It’s a sickness.  No other way to explain it.  I write this to make my readers aware, so they can beware!

You, too may be showing the first signs of the disease.  Early treatment can stop the villanous condition in its tracks.  Watch for the following symptoms:

  • Involuntary spasms of the index finger, brought on by repeated clicking on the mouse.
  • Weakened vision resulting in the need to use half-eyes to read the item information, brought on by lengthy browsing/shopping sessions.
  • Inability to resist checking your watch or asking someone for the time as the closing time for your bids approaches.
  • Female suffers may find that their ass is quickly molding into the same size and shape as their desk chair, brought on from sitting in front of a computer screen  into the wee hours of the morning.
  • Your worst nightmare involves being chased down a dark road by a red flashing sign that says, “OUTBID”.
  • You get a rush everytime you look up and see the words, “You’re the highest bidder.”
  • You have a collection of items you have won, but have absolutely no use for stashed away in the garage or in the “junk room”. ( but you got a great deal, and it was free shipping!).
  • You are thankful for your portable laptop, so you can take your computer with you to the bathroom while waiting to make that last click in a bidding war.
  • “ImaWinnaRU” is your arch nemisis, often bidding against you on items you are hoping against hope to win! (Truth is you’d probably turn out to be great friends since you obviously share similar interests)

If you mumbled to yourself, “That’s me.” 3 or more times, rush to your nearest intervention specialist.  This may come in the form of a nagging spouse, a well-meaning mother-in-law, or anyone else that will listen and normally loves to offer unsolicited advice.  Take charge of yourself while you still can.  Now, it is late, and I must check “My ebay” once more before calling it a night!

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